I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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