Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
