I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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