I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
