Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
