woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
