its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
