she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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