if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize