We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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