I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
