So drunk its hurt
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
