Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
