She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize