ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
