If that was your dad, he is hot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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