I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
