come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
