my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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