I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
