Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
