one two three fourrrrnication!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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