where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
