I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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