He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
