I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
