Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
