well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
