Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize