My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
not ubering you a puppy
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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