just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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