And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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