Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
