I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
