they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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