take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize