so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
