Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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