try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
