I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
