Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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