sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
