# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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