College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
