I hate your face
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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