it was like his penis was on wheels.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
