There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
