you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
