It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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