i think i have herpe
just one?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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