brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
