I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
