the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize