Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Mom said you looked used
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
