what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Who died my cat blue again?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
