if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
