i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
